While we were in Las Vegas over the summer, we ate at this really nice place, and I really really wanted to get a picture while we were there but for some reason I didn't have my camera or my phone on me at that particular point in the trip.
The reason for the picture was that there in this beautiful restaurant, with beautiful place settings and ambient lighting, sitting next to the silverware on the linen napkin, and awaiting the dish of pasta that I was about to eat, was my insulin pen. And it just amused the heck out of me at that point.
So I couldn't title this post Wordless Wednesday. And while this is the opposite of "a picture is worth a thousand words" hopefully my words can draw the picture for you.
Showing posts with label insulin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insulin. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
feelings.... nothing more than feelings....
So I posted yesterday about recently going off of my insulin regimen as an experiment, per se.
One of the things that I thought was really interesting was my feelings while I was doing it. Even though I’ve technically been a diabetic since 2005, I didn’t really take control of it until about a year ago. That was when they wanted to put me in the hospital for severe DKA and instead just put me on insulin. Since then I’ve paid attention to my meds, paid attention to what I eat… all of which means that I’ve complained about testing and shots and carbs and math too.
And yet, something felt wrong. It wasn’t that there was actually something wrong. At first I thought I was just stressed because of my new schedule which included school. But that wasn’t it. I finally figured out that I was missing my regular diabetes schedule.
You may ask (and I was), how can you possibly miss poking yourself 4-5 times a day with a needle and having to count every bite of food that you eat?? And believe me, it wasn’t the poking myself that I missed, it was the routine!
Its strange how quickly we can become accustomed to doing something, even something unpleasant, and integrating it into our daily lives. It was still somewhat of a relief when I gave up my experiment and started taking the shots again. Not only did my schedule fall back into place, but I felt like I had control again, so that was refreshing.
Although, I am more than a little OCD, so it really comes as no surprise that I was glad to be in control :)
One of the things that I thought was really interesting was my feelings while I was doing it. Even though I’ve technically been a diabetic since 2005, I didn’t really take control of it until about a year ago. That was when they wanted to put me in the hospital for severe DKA and instead just put me on insulin. Since then I’ve paid attention to my meds, paid attention to what I eat… all of which means that I’ve complained about testing and shots and carbs and math too.
And yet, something felt wrong. It wasn’t that there was actually something wrong. At first I thought I was just stressed because of my new schedule which included school. But that wasn’t it. I finally figured out that I was missing my regular diabetes schedule.
You may ask (and I was), how can you possibly miss poking yourself 4-5 times a day with a needle and having to count every bite of food that you eat?? And believe me, it wasn’t the poking myself that I missed, it was the routine!
Its strange how quickly we can become accustomed to doing something, even something unpleasant, and integrating it into our daily lives. It was still somewhat of a relief when I gave up my experiment and started taking the shots again. Not only did my schedule fall back into place, but I felt like I had control again, so that was refreshing.
Although, I am more than a little OCD, so it really comes as no surprise that I was glad to be in control :)
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
the one that needs a disclaimer...
Disclaimer: I would like to point out at this time that I am NOT a person with a medical degree (yet), or a certified diabetes educator, or anything like that. I am just a person with type 2 diabetes making my own decisions about my health. This does not mean that I don’t follow my doctor’s recommendations and orders, it just means that I might make decisions at times that might make me look like I’m not a good patient.
Now on to my post :)
For about a week in the middle of October I stopped taking my rapid-acting insulin. Don’t panic, it wasn’t a bad thing necessarily. I am a type 2, I have been eating healthy-ish, I was (am) taking not only long-acting (Lantus) and rapid-acting (Novolog) insulin but I was also taking Metformin and Januvia as well.
My Lantus dose was normal (for me), but my Novolog had gotten to the point where I was taking only a little with my meals. One day I ate my bagel for breakfast and totally forgot the shot. About an hour and a half later I remembered and tested, panicked, thinking I would be high, but I turned out to be lower than my fasting BG was. Weird, right?
So I thought about it and decided to do an experiment and see if I could get off the insulin and start being just on the oral meds. I made sure that I tested all the time and paid really close attention to what I was eating and whether I was high or low. And I had plenty of both highs and lows, which was interesting. What I discovered is that at this point in my life I can’t just take oral meds. My numbers never really got out of control, and they actually stayed really steady for the first few days. But then they just started slowly climbing. At the end, I was having only slightly elevated fasting levels, but as soon as I ate something I would be living in the 200’s for the whole day.
That was when I gave up. I mean, I had the means to control it at my disposal, so I went back to it. I have no problem being on insulin. I have very tight control. I am not one of those people that is scared to give it a shot (pun intended). Yeah, I was kinda pushed onto it, and of course if I could get away from it I would. I’d love to lose some of that weight that might be associated with being on insulin, but I don’t have a problem where I’m at today.
And now I actually have an endo and a lot of changes are being made, and I have a ton of appointments in the next couple of months. I’ll be posting more about that in the next couple of posts too.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Somewhat of a rant.. but not quite
Partial rant coming up!
I read a lot of diabetes blogs. Its how I got on board with my own insulin managed type 2 diabetes, despite the fact that most (like 99%) of the blogs are by or about type 1’s. Since I’m insulin dependent (at the moment), it helped a lot in understanding the insulin and the importance of counting carbs and managing injections properly, and basically living as an insulin-dependent diabetic.
I was reading through some of these blogs the other day and managed to track back through a couple of different ones with comments about a reality tv show that involved a young man having some major issues with his T1 diabetes, who also had with a T2 father. Lee Ann at The Butter Compartment made some comments about the show. Lee Ann’s blog is one of my favorites, and in truth, I agreed with both of her posts about this show but she did make a comment that struck that same T2 nerve with me. She said “…dad’s suggestion that it isn’t really that hard to manage diabetes was insensitive, and irrelevant because he presumably has T2 so what does he know? As far as I can tell, T2 is usually easy to control compared to T1, so of course he’d think that. It also perpetuated the idea that diabetes is easy to control amongst the general masses who don’t understand T1.”
Now I completely understand that there are tons of misguided people out there. I was probably one of them at one point. Some of the ones that really bother me are people who think:
Think about this. Exercise. Everyone is supposed to try and get some exercise in, every day or every other day, or whatever. If you’re a regular healthy person, you’re supposed to get some exercise. If you’re a T1, you’re supposed to get some exercise. But if you’re a T2, you HAVE to exercise. T2 is controlled through diet and exercise and maybe some meds if it’s just not working. How is that easy?
I don’t like to exercise. And yes, I believe that if I DID exercise, that I might not have to be on multiple daily injections of insulin. There is the possibility that I might not even have to take ANY meds, IF I do everything perfectly.
And while it may be true that I could get to the point where I’m so awesome that my diabetes is completely controlled by diet and exercise alone, and I don’t have any symptoms of uncontrolled diabetes, I’m totally stuck. I HAVE to exercise whether I want to or not. I HAVE to eat carefully. I can’t just have a piece of cake and bolus to cover the carbs. I’m only “supposed” to test one time a day. And if I do test and I’m high, I can’t do anything about it. Sure I don’t have the risk of overcorrecting and going low, but I also get to just look at the number on my meter and say “Well would you look at that? I’m high.” And if I can’t get that high number to come down?
** I do actually know a T2 who is actually controlling his condition through diet and exercise and as far as I know he’s doing an incredible job of it. So I know it IS possible! **
Yes, T1’s have a more “dangerous” form of this disease, I guess. Although I don’t like that word, really. There might be more potential issues because a T1’s body doesn’t create ANY insulin, but T2’s have just as many problems to deal with. They have a huge chance of having uncontrolled diabetes because they usually don’t test more than once a day. If their fasting blood sugar is fine but they’re having huge spikes for the rest of the day, they’re not even going to know something is wrong until they go in for an A1C. And that’s a bad cycle to repeat. And then it’s another 3 months to TRY and get it under control while not really understanding what they’re doing and just continuing on with the same poor management skills.
All diabetics should know what the actual facts of the disease are. And while it’s getting easier for T1’s to find information and find helpful people who want to help lead them through things, the same is not true for T2’s. YDMV (your diabetes may vary) applies for all diabetics, not just T1’s, and I think T1’s need to remember that as well.
/end partial rant
I’m not trying to step on any toes here, and I don’t want to be ostracized by the DOC for being an outspoken T2. I would love to hear the opinions of anyone who feels like giving them. Heck, maybe I’M following some misconceptions I don’t even realize. :)
I read a lot of diabetes blogs. Its how I got on board with my own insulin managed type 2 diabetes, despite the fact that most (like 99%) of the blogs are by or about type 1’s. Since I’m insulin dependent (at the moment), it helped a lot in understanding the insulin and the importance of counting carbs and managing injections properly, and basically living as an insulin-dependent diabetic.
I was reading through some of these blogs the other day and managed to track back through a couple of different ones with comments about a reality tv show that involved a young man having some major issues with his T1 diabetes, who also had with a T2 father. Lee Ann at The Butter Compartment made some comments about the show. Lee Ann’s blog is one of my favorites, and in truth, I agreed with both of her posts about this show but she did make a comment that struck that same T2 nerve with me. She said “…dad’s suggestion that it isn’t really that hard to manage diabetes was insensitive, and irrelevant because he presumably has T2 so what does he know? As far as I can tell, T2 is usually easy to control compared to T1, so of course he’d think that. It also perpetuated the idea that diabetes is easy to control amongst the general masses who don’t understand T1.”
Now I completely understand that there are tons of misguided people out there. I was probably one of them at one point. Some of the ones that really bother me are people who think:
- that all forms of diabetes are the same (which they’re not)
- that if you have diabetes (in any form) then you must have done something wrong to get it
- that if you take insulin (as a T1 or a T2) then you’re in worse shape than someone who doesn’t... like you have the “bad” diabetes
- that if you don’t take insulin you’re not a REAL diabetic
- that if you just ate right and exercised then you wouldn’t have diabetes anymore
Think about this. Exercise. Everyone is supposed to try and get some exercise in, every day or every other day, or whatever. If you’re a regular healthy person, you’re supposed to get some exercise. If you’re a T1, you’re supposed to get some exercise. But if you’re a T2, you HAVE to exercise. T2 is controlled through diet and exercise and maybe some meds if it’s just not working. How is that easy?
I don’t like to exercise. And yes, I believe that if I DID exercise, that I might not have to be on multiple daily injections of insulin. There is the possibility that I might not even have to take ANY meds, IF I do everything perfectly.
And while it may be true that I could get to the point where I’m so awesome that my diabetes is completely controlled by diet and exercise alone, and I don’t have any symptoms of uncontrolled diabetes, I’m totally stuck. I HAVE to exercise whether I want to or not. I HAVE to eat carefully. I can’t just have a piece of cake and bolus to cover the carbs. I’m only “supposed” to test one time a day. And if I do test and I’m high, I can’t do anything about it. Sure I don’t have the risk of overcorrecting and going low, but I also get to just look at the number on my meter and say “Well would you look at that? I’m high.” And if I can’t get that high number to come down?
** I do actually know a T2 who is actually controlling his condition through diet and exercise and as far as I know he’s doing an incredible job of it. So I know it IS possible! **
Yes, T1’s have a more “dangerous” form of this disease, I guess. Although I don’t like that word, really. There might be more potential issues because a T1’s body doesn’t create ANY insulin, but T2’s have just as many problems to deal with. They have a huge chance of having uncontrolled diabetes because they usually don’t test more than once a day. If their fasting blood sugar is fine but they’re having huge spikes for the rest of the day, they’re not even going to know something is wrong until they go in for an A1C. And that’s a bad cycle to repeat. And then it’s another 3 months to TRY and get it under control while not really understanding what they’re doing and just continuing on with the same poor management skills.
All diabetics should know what the actual facts of the disease are. And while it’s getting easier for T1’s to find information and find helpful people who want to help lead them through things, the same is not true for T2’s. YDMV (your diabetes may vary) applies for all diabetics, not just T1’s, and I think T1’s need to remember that as well.
/end partial rant
I’m not trying to step on any toes here, and I don’t want to be ostracized by the DOC for being an outspoken T2. I would love to hear the opinions of anyone who feels like giving them. Heck, maybe I’M following some misconceptions I don’t even realize. :)
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Type 1 Wanna-Be
A couple days ago I was talking about how disappointed I was that I met my first real life pumper and she was very condescending and acted like I was stupid for being interested when I’m “only” a T2.
I tried to relate this story to a T1 that I know and was amazed at the response. Since this was a fellow diabetic, I was expecting to hear something along the lines of disbelief... instead this person actually responded with a statement about how crazy it is when a T2 tries to compare themselves with a T1.
I believe the line was "its not like they have REAL diabetes!".
I hesitated, trying to put an actual sentence together in my head, and finally said that I was a T2, does that make me not a REAL diabetic? Like counting carbs and trying to exercise, and watching what I eat, and taking meds... that's not REAL? And she said, well, you're not REALLY a T2, you take insulin. I doubt that there are very many T2's who take more than MAYBE Lantus.
Well, that's probably true. And I have no good answer for that. I agree that its odd that I have to do MDI's to have controlled diabetes. My doc initially put me on insulin because I really should have gone to the hospital. I'm sure I was probably supposed to come off of it sometime. And I think that's why my doc put me on the Metformin and Januvia too, to try and help me get off the insulin, or at least the Novolog.
But I guess it seems like the insulin is kinda doing the trick... the pills both help my own body's insulin actually do its thing, and that probably keeps the insulin amounts I inject down a little bit. Which really is odd, thinking about it. If my body IS creating insulin (c-pep test confirmed it), then why aren't the pills alone doing the trick? I'm sure if I came off the insulin I'd skyrocket, even if I ate completely correctly. Is it because I'm overweight? I don't know!
But I digress... I've gone way off topic. I was completely shocked at the response I got about T2's not being REAL diabetics! Maybe as a T2 I'm not as much a part of the community as I thought. I mean, I don't see very many T2 bloggers out there. Its like its not a REAL disease, so why bother blogging about it?
So I will just press on, and blog to my little hearts desire. One day, a newly diagnosed T2 who gets shoved on insulin might need to read something, even if its just to know there is someone else out there.
But that's why sometimes I feel like a Type 1 Wanna-Be. Its like, if I'm going to be stuck with this disease and having to take MDI's, then I'd like it to be for a darn good reason. I want to be able to know that I take insulin shots for a reason, and not just because my doc put me on it because she didn't know any better.
I tried to relate this story to a T1 that I know and was amazed at the response. Since this was a fellow diabetic, I was expecting to hear something along the lines of disbelief... instead this person actually responded with a statement about how crazy it is when a T2 tries to compare themselves with a T1.
I believe the line was "its not like they have REAL diabetes!".
I hesitated, trying to put an actual sentence together in my head, and finally said that I was a T2, does that make me not a REAL diabetic? Like counting carbs and trying to exercise, and watching what I eat, and taking meds... that's not REAL? And she said, well, you're not REALLY a T2, you take insulin. I doubt that there are very many T2's who take more than MAYBE Lantus.
Well, that's probably true. And I have no good answer for that. I agree that its odd that I have to do MDI's to have controlled diabetes. My doc initially put me on insulin because I really should have gone to the hospital. I'm sure I was probably supposed to come off of it sometime. And I think that's why my doc put me on the Metformin and Januvia too, to try and help me get off the insulin, or at least the Novolog.
But I guess it seems like the insulin is kinda doing the trick... the pills both help my own body's insulin actually do its thing, and that probably keeps the insulin amounts I inject down a little bit. Which really is odd, thinking about it. If my body IS creating insulin (c-pep test confirmed it), then why aren't the pills alone doing the trick? I'm sure if I came off the insulin I'd skyrocket, even if I ate completely correctly. Is it because I'm overweight? I don't know!
But I digress... I've gone way off topic. I was completely shocked at the response I got about T2's not being REAL diabetics! Maybe as a T2 I'm not as much a part of the community as I thought. I mean, I don't see very many T2 bloggers out there. Its like its not a REAL disease, so why bother blogging about it?
So I will just press on, and blog to my little hearts desire. One day, a newly diagnosed T2 who gets shoved on insulin might need to read something, even if its just to know there is someone else out there.
But that's why sometimes I feel like a Type 1 Wanna-Be. Its like, if I'm going to be stuck with this disease and having to take MDI's, then I'd like it to be for a darn good reason. I want to be able to know that I take insulin shots for a reason, and not just because my doc put me on it because she didn't know any better.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Disappointed
I went to a birthday party yesterday for my friend’s son.
First, I was very glad to get to see some of my old friends that I haven’t had a chance to hang out for a while. That was a lot of fun!
Second, I realized that since I quit smoking on January 4 (yay!!), I have not faced such a huge challenge as I did yesterday. Almost everyone was a smoker. The habit of smoking with these same people was pushing at me horribly and driving me nuts! I finally at one point went inside to use the restroom because I didn’t want to just stand outside NOT smoking! Grrr… but yay!!! Gotta keep reminding myself of that “yay”!
Third, I met a person in real life who wears an insulin pump! I actually have a friend close by who just got a pump but I haven’t gotten to hang with her in a while and thus have not seen her pump.
Regarding this third point… I was disappointed that this diabetic of 24 years who has been pumping for 12 was not the kind of diabetic I’ve come to know through the online diabetic community, and I was quite disappointed.
I realized that although my mom is a T1 and I know other people who are diabetics, I didn’t truly realize what it all meant until I was almost hospitalized with DKA and started taking multiple daily injections and keeping tracking of my numbers.
Then I found Kerri’s blog and was so fascinated with what I was reading! Even though I’m a T2, here was something that I could relate to. I went all the way back to some of her earliest blogs (yes I did and it was a LOT of reading!). I learned a LOT more about my own diabetes even though it was different, and I found other people who related other things they knew, and then I started my own blog. And although I do state in title that it’s about anything that pops into my head, it ends up being mostly about diabetes. It’s a community that I enjoy being part of.
So even though I sometimes feel like a T1 wanna-be (more on that later), I’m still a diabetic who takes multiple daily injections of insulin and if that’s the way its going to be forever, then I’d definitely consider pumping. And the OCD part of me loves knowing my numbers and would love to know how my BG’s trend and would love a CGMS (really? I would love one? yes that’s a little sad…). So I was kinda excited to meet a pumper! I jumped over and was like WOW is that an insulin pump!?! And what did I get in return? A look. Like, wow, are you two years old? That was the look. So then I felt I had to explain why I thought it was cool. And that’s kind of difficult when you’re a T2 and “shouldn’t be taking insulin in the first place whats wrong with you” (again, more on that later), but I don’t want to stick myself with a needle all the time for the rest of my life if that’s what it comes down to, so I was excited. How disappointing to run into someone who acted like I was an idiot. I don’t really know for sure since I’ve never met any other D-bloggers, but I just don’t feel like that was the reaction I would have gotten.
By the way, I wasn’t actually THAT over-enthusiastic about her pump, but she made me feel like I had been!
First, I was very glad to get to see some of my old friends that I haven’t had a chance to hang out for a while. That was a lot of fun!
Second, I realized that since I quit smoking on January 4 (yay!!), I have not faced such a huge challenge as I did yesterday. Almost everyone was a smoker. The habit of smoking with these same people was pushing at me horribly and driving me nuts! I finally at one point went inside to use the restroom because I didn’t want to just stand outside NOT smoking! Grrr… but yay!!! Gotta keep reminding myself of that “yay”!
Third, I met a person in real life who wears an insulin pump! I actually have a friend close by who just got a pump but I haven’t gotten to hang with her in a while and thus have not seen her pump.
Regarding this third point… I was disappointed that this diabetic of 24 years who has been pumping for 12 was not the kind of diabetic I’ve come to know through the online diabetic community, and I was quite disappointed.
I realized that although my mom is a T1 and I know other people who are diabetics, I didn’t truly realize what it all meant until I was almost hospitalized with DKA and started taking multiple daily injections and keeping tracking of my numbers.
Then I found Kerri’s blog and was so fascinated with what I was reading! Even though I’m a T2, here was something that I could relate to. I went all the way back to some of her earliest blogs (yes I did and it was a LOT of reading!). I learned a LOT more about my own diabetes even though it was different, and I found other people who related other things they knew, and then I started my own blog. And although I do state in title that it’s about anything that pops into my head, it ends up being mostly about diabetes. It’s a community that I enjoy being part of.
So even though I sometimes feel like a T1 wanna-be (more on that later), I’m still a diabetic who takes multiple daily injections of insulin and if that’s the way its going to be forever, then I’d definitely consider pumping. And the OCD part of me loves knowing my numbers and would love to know how my BG’s trend and would love a CGMS (really? I would love one? yes that’s a little sad…). So I was kinda excited to meet a pumper! I jumped over and was like WOW is that an insulin pump!?! And what did I get in return? A look. Like, wow, are you two years old? That was the look. So then I felt I had to explain why I thought it was cool. And that’s kind of difficult when you’re a T2 and “shouldn’t be taking insulin in the first place whats wrong with you” (again, more on that later), but I don’t want to stick myself with a needle all the time for the rest of my life if that’s what it comes down to, so I was excited. How disappointing to run into someone who acted like I was an idiot. I don’t really know for sure since I’ve never met any other D-bloggers, but I just don’t feel like that was the reaction I would have gotten.
By the way, I wasn’t actually THAT over-enthusiastic about her pump, but she made me feel like I had been!
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