I've got it together...

I’ve been feeling pretty good lately!

I feel on track with my future career. I am going to finish school and have this career under my belt. I’m sick of always having something be in the way. Be it class schedules vs. work schedules, or me not being SURE that I’m in the right career path, or me not having the funds to get it moving. I’m sick of waiting for it! I want to be officially doing something that I will enjoy, as my actual job.

And I’m on that path. I start my Business Communications class , which is my final pre-requisite class, next Tuesday, one week from today. I’m also taking a refresher in Medical Terminology (not because I need the class or grade, but because I’d rather have all those terms fresh in my head). I officially start the program this winter, and as long as everything goes on schedule I’ll be finished in June of 2012! Yay!

I feel in control of my Diabetes. I saw my doctor last Wednesday and will be heading in to have my lab work done in a couple of days. Fasting blood work always throws me off because I do better at it if I can do it first thing in the morning. In that regard, I had to wait till a day when we will almost definitely not be busy.

I wasn’t able to get another A1c done because last time I was classified as “in control” because my A1c was under 7%, so my insurance will only cover it after 6 months. I wish I could have known what it was though, since I started the Januvia 2 months ago and the Metformin (again) 3 months ago and I’d like to see how its going. But I guess “in control” is good!

I am also getting the lab work done to see if I have LADA, or type 1.5, or whatever you want to classify it as. If it comes back with positive antibodies, then that’ll be that. At least I will know if I’ll be on insulin forever or if I might be able to come off and just be on pills or nothing.

I’m very happy with my love life. As I posted yesterday, I’m with the man that I know I’m supposed to be with, and plan to be with forever. Even after almost a year and a half, and most of that living in the same place together, I still miss him when I’m not near him, and my heart still flutters when he smiles. I am more content now than I have ever been at any point in my life. Being with Dustin makes me feel safe and warm and fuzzy. :)

So yeah.. I’m doing pretty good, I think :)

too long to wait!

I’ve been thinking a lot about why I’m so antsy to have Dustin propose and to finally get married.

I think part of it is because I feel like I waited too long to get to be with him. Too many issues contributed to me not meeting him until I was already 32 years old. Too many things held onto by hope, when they should have been let go. I feel like I’m just too damn impatient to get into the life I should have been having all this time. I should have been living all these years married to the person that I love more than anything. We should have been together, moving forward with our lives together, not apart. I should have been enjoying my life with him, with a degree already completed and already well into a career, so that even if it HAD taken this long to be ready to have kids, I would be completely ready to have them now.

I don’t feel like I need to tie him into something, or feel worried that I need to get him attached to me quickly, or anything like that. Honestly, I feel so secure in my relationship, and so sure that this is what it will be like forever, that I don’t even feel like I need to be married. But… the traditionalist in me wants to be married before I start a family. And I want to start a family!

Why this pressing need to get moving on this? First, I’m getting to the age where I’ll soon be classified as “too old”… meaning that I move from a high risk group (with Diabetes) to a further high risk group of old people trying to have kids. I don’t actually feel old. Except that I know the old biological clock is ticking away. I feel like my Diabetes is in control. I feel like my life is in order. I want to lose some weight, but I’m hopefully on the right track for that as well.

The only thing throwing me for a little loop is the school thing. I want to be done, but I want kids more. I don’t want to hold off trying to have kids until I’m done because then I might be too late. I can always finish a semester of school if life throws me for a loop. I may not be able to “always” get pregnant.

I may not be able to get pregnant at all for that matter. What if I can’t get pregnant? I will be disappointed, sure. Hugely disappointed. I will wonder if its something I did, or because I waited so long. And I might never know. But I would be comfortable adopting a child as well. So I know that I don’t want to hurry up and get married ONLY to have kids.

I think I’m just excited to be able to say and know that I’m tied to him. Proud to share his name. Happy to be able to stand with him forever, through everything that life might throw at us. Every little thing that could happen, good or bad, will shape our lives together. I just can’t wait to get started!

i didn't do it!

I was holding scissors in my hand when I happened to glance in the mirror on my cubicle wall.  I was so tempted to just cut off that stupid piece of my bangs that always flips up and out like I’ve grown wings and am going to fly away at any moment.

But I didn’t.

Because I’m sure if I did it would be “wrong” and I would be pissed at my hair forevermore.

Stupid hair.

mmmmm food!

Dustin and I recently discussed that we should start getting into shape.  He had gone through and done a whole lot of healthy changes before he met me and wants to get back to them.  I had lost a ton of weight, probably because my blood sugar was so high, but it showed me that I COULD lose that much weight if I actually work at it.

So when we went grocery shopping the other day we tried to pick out healthy stuff and lots of fruits and veggies and high protein meats and stuff (ok, mostly chicken).  We did a pretty good job, I think!  I have some high fiber cereal to take to work with me, along with some salads, so it'll be real good!

This morning, in an effort to eat something yummy yet healthy and D-friendly, I was browsing through my saved emails from Diabetic Living and looking at their suggested recipes.  I figure I should be able to come across something that I have ingredients on hand for, and it'll be healthy and D-friendly all at the same time.  And wow did I ever!


Fruit Filled Puff Pancakes

Nonstick cooking spray
1/4 cup refrigerated/frozen egg product OR 1 egg
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
2 tbsp fat-free milk
2 tsp cooking oil
Dash of salt

1 tbsp reduced-sugar orange marmalade
1 tbsp orange juice or water
1 small banana, sliced
1/2 cup sliced fresh strawberries or fresh blueberries

1.  Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Coat two 4 1/4 inch pie plates, OR 4 1/2 inch foil tart pans, OR 10 oz. custard cups with nonstick spray.  Set aside.

2.  In a medium bowl use a beater or whisk to beat egg, flour, milk, oil, and salt until smooth.  Divide batter among prepared pans.  Bake in preheated oven for 25 minutes or until brown and puffy.  Turn off oven and let stand in oven for 5 minutes.

3.  In a small bowl, stir together marmalade and orange juice or water.  Add bananas and strawberries or blueberries and stir gently to coat. 

4.  To serve, immediately after you remove the pancakes from the over transfer them to plates and spoon some of the fruit into the center.

Makes 2 servings.

Calories: 163   
Total Fat:  5
Saturated Fat:  1
Cholesterol:  0
Sodium:  138
Carbs:  26
Fiber:  3
Protein:  5

(Exchanges:  1 Fruit, 1 Other Carb, 1 Fat)

My Notes:

• You could obviously make this to your liking and just calculate differently.  For example, you could use whole wheat flour instead of all-purpose, and that would change your carbs a bit. 

• I'm sure you could use any kind of jam in place of the marmalade if you don't like marmalade.  If you end up using one that is not sugar-free or reduced sugar, then take that into account too.

• I used an orange-mango-peach juice instead of orange juice or water with the fruit.  It was delicious still, but not sure it made a difference in flavor.

• When you make the dough, you will look at it and think that there is NO WAY enough.  It only makes about 1/2 cup total, and its very thin and liquidy.  Just divide it between the two cups and pop them in.  They turned out AWESOME!

• Last thing... I only ended up cooking mine for about 17 minutes before they were brown and puffy and on the verge of being TOO brown.  So keep an eye on them!

Enjoy!  And feel free to let me know how you liked them!  I know, its not my recipe, but its still nice to share and see how others like things!

A better way to do coffee....

I need to find a better way to do coffee.

In the past I lived with at least one other person, so making a pot of coffee for the house was not a problem.  Even when I lived in my apartment with just my one friend, we both drank enough coffee that it was still worthwhile. 

Now I just don't drink coffee as much.  My boyfriend is really not a coffee drinker AT ALL, and it seems pointless to make it sometimes.

I think I need to decide if it is worthwhile for me to spend the cash on one of those single cup coffee makers like a Keurig Mini Plus Personal Brewer or something similar.  We have one at work that is bigger than that one and it uses those pods (K cups) but it also has a little basket that you can just put regular coffee into.  Its kinda nice.

I'm thinking I also need to figure out how to use my espresso machine that I've had for quite a long while now and which is currently sitting in the bottom of a cabinet.  It has a steam wand and everything!

MMMMM coffee!!