Diabetes Awareness Month!

Holy moly! I have not posted anything in so long!

I’m sure that my loyal follower(s) have been sitting around crying over my lack of totally fascinating posts, and for that I am truly sorry!


November is Diabetes Awareness Month with World Diabetes Day coming up on November 14! There are all kinds of things going on this month, so be sure to check out other blogs around the community and see what people are doing! Sarah at Sugabetic started SAE Day which is to encourage you to Support, Advocate, and Educate about diabetes. That’s November 1, so I’m sorry I’m pushing it out there a little too late!

On WDD, November 14, be sure to check out and participate in the Big Blue Test to raise awareness for diabetes!

November 9 is D-Blog Day, started in 2005 by Gina Capone. This years topic is: 6 things you want people to know about diabetes. You can find out more by checking out her post here.

November is also NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month. The basic idea is to post something in your blog every day for a month. Actually, I think you can try to do it any month you want, but November is the big month and they award prizes and everything! If you’re interested, you can check out NaBloPoMo.com and give it a try.

In honor of World Diabetes Day and Diabetes Awareness Month, and since it is NaBloPoMo, I am going to attempt the 30 Diabetes Blogs in 30 Days. They’ve got some great ideas on their site as to what to post about, and since I’m a slacker at posting sometimes, I’m going to take advantage of any help they want to provide! So here goes!

The suggestion for today is an introduction… “Tell us about yourself! Why did you decide to start a blog or share your blog with us?”

Overall, I’m pretty normal. I’m a geek… I love my World of Warcraft, my chainmail armor, my Stargate TV shows. I am also a student aiming for a degree/certification in medical assisting. I’m hoping to one day be a wife and a mother. I have an absolutely wonderful boyfriend who makes me feel special even when I’m being cranky.

I’ve talked before about my varying degrees of success with having Type 2 Diabetes. I decided to start blogging because my situation as a T2 seemed to be so different. At the time I wasn’t finding many T2’s that were taking insulin, especially, so I wanted to talk!

Anyway, enough about me for the day :)

reprimanding myself...

I feel compelled to clarify some of the things I said in my last post, so that I don’t alienate any of my readers (do I have more than one??) because of my “pain of the moment” writing :)

First, as Mike pointed out in his comment, I suppose I will take back my name calling of myself (although there are some days when I certainly FEEL like a fat cow), however I had a good reason for calling myself an idiot. See, even in my irrational ranting over my unchanged diagnosis, I knew that the things I was upset about were completely ridiculous, idiotic even, because, as I mentioned, why would any rational person prefer MDI’s over or in addition to a healthy diet?

Second, I should have used a lot more “quotation marks” when talking about T1’s vs. T2’s. A lot of things that I said are the common misconceptions that I know I hear from my side frequently. I’m certainly not playing the blame game on anyone’s genetics!

Some of the things that bug me about being a T2, though, are those common misconceptions, even by doctors and especially health insurance companies. With the insurance aspect, as a T2, if I get pregnant and am still on insulin, it will still be difficult for me to get on a pump for tighter control just because health insurance companies tend to feel that they are unnecessary for a T2, no matter what the circumstances.

The same generally holds true with test strips. Since with my old insurance didn’t cover any endocrinologists anywhere near me, I never bothered getting one, but my PCP is very cool and wants me to be proactive with my diabetes. She is the one who helps me get enough strips to currently test about 7 times a day, which is the max for my insurance. That’s a lot better than other T2’s I know who are only allowed to test 1 time per day. But if get married and change insurance again, I may be stuck with the “T2 doesn’t need to test that often” and won’t be able to. I know I’m still a newbie and maybe I will eventually be glad that I can’t test, but personally, I LOVE data. I love knowing what my numbers are. I would love to be on a CGM just to see the trends and know whats going on a little bit more!

And that’s just the stuff from insurance companies. From a personal perspective, I have seen people who should know better sit back and say that at least its not as “bad” as being a T1. And on the flipside I’ve had T1’s actually look DOWN on me, because I’m “only” a T2. So apart from the DOC, that’s what I run into all the time! Another weird aspect that I keep seeing, being near the Detroit area, is surprise that I’m a T2, because that’s something that inner city people get… (???? what????)

So hopefully that clears up a little bit about the stuff I was talking about in my last post. Like I said, I certainly don’t want to step on any toes just because I was upset. Generally I have a pretty good outlook on things, and try to put things in the proper perspective when I’m writing so that I don’t sound biased or anything. Thanks again to Mike for pointing out that I had lost my perspective :)

at least I know it IS all my fault...

So I had some lab tests done last week to check on various things. They checked my cholesterol to see if the simvastatin I started taking 3 months ago is working, and they tested for GAD antibodies to see if I’m a Type 1.5 (LADA) or a Type 2.

I heard back from the doctor today, finally, and while she was a bit brief in her voicemail, it was because it was all good news! She said my cholesterol looked “beautiful” so the simvastatin is working well, and she said that I tested negative for the antibodies, so I’m just a plain old Type 2. Yay!

Here’s where I become an idiot….

I’ll admit, I’m a little disappointed. Why? Why would I be DISAPPOINTED that I might get to forego a lifetime of multiple daily injections or being hooked to an insulin pump? Because basically, its all my fault! Sure sure I might have gotten T2 diabetes just because, but as a T1, you can’t do anything about it. You have no say in the matter. It was going to happen anyway. Finding out that I’m a T2 just reminds me that:

a) if I wasn’t a fat cow then I might not even BE diabetic

b) if I could manage to lose weight then I might be just another person with “diabetic tendencies”

c) if I could manage to lose weight then I wouldn’t be taking insulin, and if I wasn’t taking insulin I might not be a fat cow (vicious circle, that one)

d) that for as long as I AM taking insulin, I will probably never be approved for a pump, because I’m “just a T2”, which means that until I figure out how to lose weight then I’ll be doing MDI’s

e) that I will never ever be able to just randomly eat something again.

That last one, I think, is the kicker for me. At least if I was/am taking insulin, I can eat a piece of bread, or a piece of fruit, and I know that I just need to take a bit of insulin to cover it. But as a T2, the goal is to not be on insulin, and to not be on meds at all, if possible. That means that I’m not allowed to eat anything that I enjoy, ever again.

While I know there is some stuff that is T2 friendly that is absolutely delicious, that means leaving out yummy helpings of fruits, and delicious breads, and bagels, and cereals.

I know that it is absolutely ridiculous to be bummed about the fact that I might have the ability to be injection free. Why would anyone want to take injections multiple times a day, every day, or be hooked up to a pump all the time? Why am I sitting at my desk at work in tears because my doctor just gave me “good” news? Because it just makes everything that much harder…

1. The road to getting OFF insulin is going to be harder because the only way to really do it is to lose weight. Half the weight that’s there is because I’m ON insulin in the first place. So that’s harder right there.

2. Eating healthier is something that I’ve been trying to do for a while now, as well as diminishing the amount that I eat. Both of those things are going well, but I’m not losing ANY weight. Plus, healthy eating doesn’t mean that I have to cut out breads and cereals, just making good choices about them. Being a T2 means that I DO have to cut that stuff out.

3. If I manage to get off insulin, then if I DO eat something “wrong”, I have no way of fixing it. That means that I might have highs that last longer, highs that I can’t correct for, and highs that cause complications that could put me in the hospital or cause long term problems. And I can’t do anything about them, because there IS nothing you can do for them as a T2.

4. I’ll probably be forced to reduce the amount of times I test per day, so I’ll never even know if I’m high.

5. If I go off insulin, the only way that I’ll be able to keep my A1c in range is by losing tons of weight and never eating yummy things again, which is going to take a very very long time, which means that I won’t be able to try and get pregnant if I ever get married, because it will be such a long struggle to get there that by the time I do I’ll be too old to have babies.

Yes, I know I’m an idiot.

I am glad to know that I can make myself be healthy, that its all in my hands. But that also means I’m the only one to blame when I can’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I was already PLANNING on doing most of those things. Like I mentioned in #2 up there, I was already eating healthier and fixing my portion sizes. But now it feels like I’m not the one choosing to do so, I’m going to be FORCED to do so. Its not ME choosing whether or not to eat something I want, its being FORCED to not eat the things I might have chosen to.

So yeah. I’m a little disappointed. I’m glad for the good news, but disappointed about the view.

Somewhat of a rant.. but not quite

Partial rant coming up!

I read a lot of diabetes blogs.  Its how I got on board with my own insulin managed type 2 diabetes, despite the fact that most (like 99%) of the blogs are by or about type 1’s.  Since I’m insulin dependent (at the moment), it helped a lot in understanding the insulin and the importance of counting carbs and managing injections properly, and basically living as an insulin-dependent diabetic.

I was reading through some of these blogs the other day and managed to track back through a couple of different ones with comments about a reality tv show that involved a young man having some major issues with his T1 diabetes, who also had with a T2 father.  Lee Ann at The Butter Compartment made some comments about the show.  Lee Ann’s blog is one of my favorites, and in truth, I agreed with both of her posts about this show but she did make a comment that struck that same T2 nerve with me.  She said “…dad’s suggestion that it isn’t really that hard to manage diabetes was insensitive, and irrelevant because he presumably has T2 so what does he know? As far as I can tell, T2 is usually easy to control compared to T1, so of course he’d think that. It also perpetuated the idea that diabetes is easy to control amongst the general masses who don’t understand T1.”

Now I completely understand that there are tons of misguided people out there.  I was probably one of them at one point.  Some of the ones that really bother me are people who think:

• that all forms of diabetes are the same (which they’re not)
• that if you have diabetes (in any form) then you must have done something wrong to get it
• that if you take insulin (as a T1 or a T2) then you’re in worse shape than someone who doesn’t... like you have the “bad” diabetes
• that if you don’t take insulin you’re not a REAL diabetic
• that if you just ate right and exercised then you wouldn’t have diabetes anymore

Thinking of that last bullet point, obviously for a T1 that’s completely impossible. That last one is one of the reasons I’m so against people (T1’s and T2’s included) who seem to think that being a T2 is easier.  To Lee Ann’s credit, she did say “as far as I can tell”.  But the misconception I’ve heard, even from people who should know better, is that if I just dieted and exercised, I wouldn’t even have diabetes anymore. 

Think about this.  Exercise.  Everyone is supposed to try and get some exercise in, every day or every other day, or whatever.  If you’re a regular healthy person, you’re supposed to get some exercise.  If you’re a T1, you’re supposed to get some exercise.  But if you’re a T2, you HAVE to exercise.  T2 is controlled through diet and exercise and maybe some meds if it’s just not working.  How is that easy? 

I don’t like to exercise.  And yes, I believe that if I DID exercise, that I might not have to be on multiple daily injections of insulin.  There is the possibility that I might not even have to take ANY meds, IF I do everything perfectly.

And while it may be true that I could get to the point where I’m so awesome that my diabetes is completely controlled by diet and exercise alone, and I don’t have any symptoms of uncontrolled diabetes, I’m totally stuck.  I HAVE to exercise whether I want to or not.  I HAVE to eat carefully.  I can’t just have a piece of cake and bolus to cover the carbs.  I’m only “supposed” to test one time a day.  And if I do test and I’m high, I can’t do anything about it.  Sure I don’t have the risk of overcorrecting and going low, but I also get to just look at the number on my meter and say “Well would you look at that?  I’m high.”  And if I can’t get that high number to come down?

** I do actually know a T2 who is actually controlling his condition through diet and exercise and as far as I know he’s doing an incredible job of it.  So I know it IS possible! **

Yes, T1’s have a more “dangerous” form of this disease, I guess.  Although I don’t like that word, really.  There might be more potential issues because a T1’s body doesn’t create ANY insulin, but T2’s have just as many problems to deal with.  They have a huge chance of having uncontrolled diabetes because they usually don’t test more than once a day.  If their fasting blood sugar is fine but they’re having huge spikes for the rest of the day, they’re not even going to know something is wrong until they go in for an A1C.  And that’s a bad cycle to repeat.  And then it’s another 3 months to TRY and get it under control while not really understanding what they’re doing and just continuing on with the same poor management skills.

All diabetics should know what the actual facts of the disease are.  And while it’s getting easier for T1’s to find information and find helpful people who want to help lead them through things, the same is not true for T2’s.  YDMV (your diabetes may vary) applies for all diabetics, not just T1’s, and I think T1’s need to remember that as well.

/end partial rant

I’m not trying to step on any toes here, and I don’t want to be ostracized by the DOC for being an outspoken T2.  I would love to hear the opinions of anyone who feels like giving them.  Heck, maybe I’M following some misconceptions I don’t even realize.  :)

Type 1 Wanna-Be

A couple days ago I was talking about how disappointed I was that I met my first real life pumper and she was very condescending and acted like I was stupid for being interested when I’m “only” a T2.

I tried to relate this story to a T1 that I know and was amazed at the response.  Since this was a fellow diabetic, I was expecting to hear something along the lines of disbelief... instead this person actually responded with a statement about how crazy it is when a T2 tries to compare themselves with a T1. 

I believe the line was "its not like they have REAL diabetes!". 

I hesitated, trying to put an actual sentence together in my head, and finally said that I was a T2, does that make me not a REAL diabetic?  Like counting carbs and trying to exercise, and watching what I eat, and taking meds... that's not REAL?  And she said, well, you're not REALLY a T2, you take insulin.  I doubt that there are very many T2's who take more than MAYBE Lantus. 

Well, that's probably true.  And I have no good answer for that.  I agree that its odd that I have to do MDI's to have controlled diabetes.  My doc initially put me on insulin because I really should have gone to the hospital.  I'm sure I was probably supposed to come off of it sometime.  And I think that's why my doc put me on the Metformin and Januvia too, to try and help me get off the insulin, or at least the Novolog.

But I guess it seems like the insulin is kinda doing the trick... the pills both help my own body's insulin actually do its thing, and that probably keeps the insulin amounts I inject down a little bit.  Which really is odd, thinking about it.  If my body IS creating insulin (c-pep test confirmed it), then why aren't the pills alone doing the trick?  I'm sure if I came off the insulin I'd skyrocket, even if I ate completely correctly.  Is it because I'm overweight?  I don't know!

But I digress... I've gone way off topic.  I was completely shocked at the response I got about T2's not being REAL diabetics!  Maybe as a T2 I'm not as much a part of the community as I thought.  I mean, I don't see very many T2 bloggers out there.  Its like its not a REAL disease, so why bother blogging about it? 

So I will just press on, and blog to my little hearts desire.  One day, a newly diagnosed T2 who gets shoved on insulin might need to read something, even if its just to know there is someone else out there.

But that's why sometimes I feel like a Type 1 Wanna-Be.  Its like, if I'm going to be stuck with this disease and having to take MDI's, then I'd like it to be for a darn good reason.  I want to be able to know that I take insulin shots for a reason, and not just because my doc put me on it because she didn't know any better.

Disappointed

I went to a birthday party yesterday for my friend’s son. 

First, I was very glad to get to see some of my old friends that I haven’t had a chance to hang out for a while.  That was a lot of fun!

Second, I realized that since I quit smoking on January 4 (yay!!), I have not faced such a huge challenge as I did yesterday.  Almost everyone was a smoker.  The habit of smoking with these same people was pushing at me horribly and driving me nuts!  I finally at one point went inside to use the restroom because I didn’t want to just stand outside NOT smoking!  Grrr…  but yay!!!  Gotta keep reminding myself of that “yay”!

Third, I met a person in real life who wears an insulin pump!  I actually have a friend close by who just got a pump but I haven’t gotten to hang with her in a while and thus have not seen her pump.

Regarding this third point… I was disappointed that this diabetic of 24 years who has been pumping for 12 was not the kind of diabetic I’ve come to know through the online diabetic community, and I was quite disappointed. 

I realized that although my mom is a T1 and I know other people who are diabetics, I didn’t truly realize what it all meant until I was almost hospitalized with DKA and started taking multiple daily injections and keeping tracking of my numbers. 

Then I found Kerri’s blog and was so fascinated with what I was reading! Even though I’m a T2, here was something that I could relate to.  I went all the way back to some of her earliest blogs (yes I did and it was a LOT of reading!).  I learned a LOT more about my own diabetes even though it was different, and I found other people who related other things they knew, and then I started my own blog.  And although I do state in title that it’s about anything that pops into my head, it ends up being mostly about diabetes.  It’s a community that I enjoy being part of.

So even though I sometimes feel like a T1 wanna-be (more on that later), I’m still a diabetic who takes multiple daily injections of insulin and if that’s the way its going to be forever, then I’d definitely consider pumping.  And the OCD part of me loves knowing my numbers and would love to know how my BG’s trend and would love a CGMS (really?  I would love one?  yes that’s a little sad…).  So I was kinda excited to meet a pumper!  I jumped over and was like WOW is that an insulin pump!?!  And what did I get in return?  A look.  Like, wow, are you two years old?  That was the look.  So then I felt I had to explain why I thought it was cool.  And that’s kind of difficult when you’re a T2 and “shouldn’t be taking insulin in the first place whats wrong with you” (again, more on that later),  but I don’t want to stick myself with a needle all the time for the rest of my life if that’s what it comes down to, so I was excited.  How disappointing to run into someone who acted like I was an idiot.  I don’t really know for sure since I’ve never met any other D-bloggers, but I just don’t feel like that was the reaction I would have gotten.

By the way, I wasn’t actually THAT over-enthusiastic about her pump, but she made me feel like I had been!